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Posted on 28/8/2016
Posted on 28/08/2016

Icyo abahanga bavuga ku gukomeza urukundo bishingiye ku mibonano mpuzabitsina hagati y’umukobwa n’umuhungu

Hari abakobwa benshi bibwira ko kugira ngo urukundo rwabo rurambe ari uko bagomba kuryamana n’abakunzi babo nyamara abahanga bemeza ko umugabo utarabonye agaciro k’umukobwa mbere y’uko baryamana atakaboneshwa n’uko byabaye.

Umwanditsi w’ibitabo Christian Carter, agaragaza ko abakobwa bagwa mu mutego wo kumva ko nibaramuka baryamanye n’abasore aribwo baba babonye igituma urukundo rwabo rusagamba nyamara bakirengagiza ko ibyo ntaho bihurira.

Yagize ati “Ugomba gutekereza ko gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’umuntu ndetse no gukundana nawe ari ibintu bibiri bitandukanye.”

Akomeza avuga ko igituma umuntu yahitamo gukundana n’umukobwa kirenze kuba baryamana, kiruta kandi imiterere imukurura n’uburyo amubona akamwifuza.

Mu gutanga inama, uyu mwanditsi asaba abakobwa kubanza gutekereza ko nyuma yo kwemerera umuhungu gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina ngo arusheho kumukunda n’ubundi akomeza kumufata nk’uko yamufataga mbere.

Uyu mwanditsi mu buhamya ahabwa n’abantu b’igitsina gabo ndetse n’igitsina gore, agaragaza ko hari abagabo babeshya abakobwa ko kuryamana kwabo byarushaho gutuma biyumvananamo gusa ngo ntacyo byongeraho.

Asaba abagabo kuba abanyakuri imbere y’abo bashaka kugirana iki gikorwa n’impamvu zabyo mbere y’uko kibaho aho kubizeza ko gishobora kubafasha kunga ubumwe nyamara ntibibeho.

Anenga abakobwa avuga ko aho kugaragaza ibyiyumviro bibarimo ngo bemere bazi impamvu cyangwa ngo bahakane bazi impamvu bahakanye ko ahubwo bicecekera bibwira ko aribwo buryo bwiza bwo gukemura ikibazo.

Amwe mu makosa yagaragaje abakobwa bakora

1. Kwibwira ko gusabwa ko muryamana bivuze ko mugiye gushimangira urukundo: Usanga abakobwa bicecekera bagahita bibwira ko ubwo umusore asabye ko bakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina ubwo bivuze ko ashaka ko umubano wabo ukomeza kugenda neza cyangwa ibitagendaga bakaba barabikosoye

2. Kumva ko guhakana byatuma akwanga: Usanga abakobwa bemera bakinjira mu gikorwa cyo kuryamana n’abasore bumva ko aribwo buryo bwatuma badatandukana n’abo bakunda

3. Kutamenya mu byukuri icyo ushaka: Hari abakobwa baba batazi icyo bashaka mu mubano wabo n’abasore. Ugasanga ntamenya niba ari urukundo ruzima arimo cyangwa se niba ari ukuryamana yishakira.

Ibyo bituma hari ubwo umukobwa atabasha gufata umwanzuro ariko byose akajya abyemera mu kwibwira ko arimo gusigasira umubano.

Uyu mwanditsi avuga ko akunze kubona ubutumwa bw’abagore bamubaza icyo bakora kuko bamaze kuryamana n’abagabo babizeje ko bazakundana ariko ntibikunde.

Yagize ati “Wikomeza kwibabariza umutima, ahashize ni ahashije ntihakagombye gukomeza kuba ikibazo uyu munsi. Ikibazo ukwiriye kuba ufite uyu munsi ni ukumenya niba undi muzakundana uzabasha kubyitwaramo neza.”

Yongeraho ati “Ugomba kubanza gukundana n’umuntu mukaba inshuti, mugafatanya ubuzima noneho ibyo gutera akabariro bikazaza ari nk’umusaruro uvuye mu bumwe bwanyu aho kugira ngo bikorwe ari nk’ikintu cyo kubafasha kugirana ubumwe.”

Uyu mwanditsi yemeza ko nta mugabo ujya ukunda umugore abitewe n’uko babanje kuryamana ko n’iyo byabaho haba hari izindi mpamvu yarebyeho aho kuba icyo cyo nyine.

Alex Masha@Rwandapaparazzi.rw

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