.Amayeri indaya zikoresha mu kureshya abagabo
.Uko umugore yakitwara kugira ngo indaya zitamutwara umugabo we
.Iby’ingenzi wamenya niba udashaka ko umugabo wawe ajarajara mu bagore
.Imyitwarire ikwiye kuranga umugore uri mu rugo
.Uko umugore yafata neza umugabo we
.Ibyo wakurikiza ukegukana umugabo wawe nta bandi mu musangira

Hari abagore bahora bahangayitse ngo indaya cyangwa abandi bagore/abakobwa bakiri bato babatwaye abagabo. Niba ushaka gutsinda uwo muhanganye ni ngombwa ko umenya amayeri (strategies/tactics) akoresha kugira ngo nawe ubihereho bigufashe kumenya uko ubyitwaramo bityo ubashe kumutsinda. Igitabo cyitwa “Nana, Prostituée, putain, Héritaire: Rencontre d’un intime Relationnel peu Banal” cyanditswe na Jaramillo Isabelle. Uyu mwanditsi yakoze ubushakashatsi ku buzima, imibereho, imikorere y’indaya mu gihe cy’imyaka icumi. Mu mabanga rero indaya zikoresha ari muri icyo gitabo nawe hari icyo ashobora kugufasha kinini nk’umugore ushaka kwigarurira umugabo wawe.

Dore amabanga indaya zigira kandi yakigisha benshi:

1.Kumenya imiterere y’abagabo

Iri ni ibanga rya mbere indaya zikoresha mu gukurura no kureshya abagabo. Umugabo aho ava akagera,ikigero cyose yaba arimo akunda igitsina gore. Keretse iyo afite ubundi burwayi bwihariye. Nubwo ubana n’umugabo wawe, ushobora kuba utarafashe umwanya ngo umwige imiterere ye. Iyo umaze kumenya uko ateye,imitekerereze,imikorere y’umubiri we, umenya n’uko umwifataho. Abagabo bakunda kugira ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kenshi ugereranyije n’abagore. Kumutera umugongo buri joro cyangwa kenshi gashoboka uba ukora amakosa ahambaye. Kumusanganiza ibibazo agikandagiza ikirenge mu rugo uba uhamwangisha ,Kugira agakungu n’abagore bagushuka ni ikosa. Aha rero icyo indaya zikora ni ugufata neza umugabo ntabibazo bidasanzwe indaya ibwira umugabo uretse amafaranga baba bumvikanye, indaya igerageza gukora uko ishoboye kose ikiyegereza umugabo bari kumwe kandi ikamugaragariza urukundo rudasanzwe n’ubwo iba imuryarya.

2.Kumenya imyenda yabugenewe

Mu bushakashatsi Isabelle yakoze, imwe mu ndaya ibimazemo imyaka 10 yamuhishuriye iri banga. Iyo burya abakobwa b’indaya bari murugo baba batandukanye cyane n’uko ubabona ku muhanda. Imyambarire yo mu rugo iba idashamaje ariko iyo bagiye mukazi usanga biyitaho kuburyo buhagije cyane.
Umugore ufite umugabo nawe byamufasha. Niba ugiye ku kazi kawe ka buri munsi ambara imyenda igendanye n’akazi kawe. Nugera mu rugo uhindure imyamabaro wambare ku buryo ureshya umugabo wawe ntategeko ribiguhanira.

Abagore benshi bambara nk’indaya batabizi. Ugasanga mu gihe agiye mu kazi nibwo aroshyemo imyenda ireshya ndetse ikurura abagabo rimwe na rimwe impenure. Yagera mu rugo ya myenda akayishyira ku ruhande agakubitamo urugutiya rugera ku birenge. Nyamara cyari igihe cyo kureshya no gukurura umugabo we aho kwirirwa avana hasi abagabo/abasore b’abandi.

Kwiyitaho rero igihe ugiye kujya ahandi hantu hatari mu rugo ariko wagera murugo ntumenye ko ugomba no kureshya umugabo wawe ni ikosa. Yego mwarashakanye ariko aracyakeneye kubona ubwiza bwa kera bwamuteye kuguhitamo mu bandi. Irinde inarashyikiriye/narugezemo. Kuba mubana,niwo mwanya mwiza wabonye wo kwiyitaho no kumwereka ko yashatse kandi yahisemo neza

Icyitonderwa : Iyi nkuru ntigamije gushyigikira cyangwa gushimagiza ibikorwa bikorwa n’indaya, Ikigamijwe ni ukugira ngo abagore bamenye gufata neza abagabo babo barebye amayeri akoreshwa n’indaya cyangwa abandi bagore/abakobwa babatwara abagabo babo.

Emery@Rwandapaparazzi.rw